Untitled (Image Transfers), 2022
As a forty-four year-old plus size woman and artist living through a pandemic while trying to raise two young children, I feel an irresistible need to photograph myself. I use my own body in a frank and honest manner to reflect on maternal ambivalence and the toll that motherhood can have on a person. At the end of long days, when I am both physically and mentally exhausted and have nothing else to give, I stand in front of the camera to document what is left of myself. There are many scars that come with being a mother– emotional and physical, positive and negative. I am exploring these dichotomies in the disjointed way that the photographs of the body are assembled. In the final images, my body appears dismembered, not in proper proportion, and has an underwater feel as if the person in the image is drowning and hanging on by a thread.
In my recent work, I use an image transfer technique where I print photographs of my body onto transparencies. I then use hand sanitizer to transfer fragments of the images into a composed work that is situated across several large pieces of paper. I use assorted tools like a brayer, bone folder, and squeegee in order to play with various amounts of pressure during the transfer process. In a sense, I’m trying to put myself back together again, but finding out that the pieces just don’t fit like they used to. The resulting image is an amalgamation of pieces of my body that exposes the daily discomforts that I’ve gained by being a mother. This examination of what it means to be a mother and the process of managing all the baggage that comes with it is evident in the varied spontaneous markings on the body and its surroundings that are revealed during the transfer process. I lean into the experimental aspect of this process and revel in not knowing exactly what it is going to look like until I do it, which is similar to how I experience motherhood. I find that this laborious process is akin to caretaking in that it is time consuming, rigorous and you have to be prepared for unexpected circumstances to arise. Letting go of control in both instances is a necessary part of the process.
